A happy new year to you all, its been quite a while... It's now that time of year to get serious about stuff. I think 2015 is going to be a particularly awesome year, which started off on a very good note when I came across this extremely honest and sincere TED Talk by Mad Men writer Tracy McMillan. The title of the talk "The person you really need to marry" made me a bit skeptical at first; it sounded like a self help how-to get hitch type of talk and I was intrigued to hear what she had to say about the topic. Luckily it turned out that the title of her talk was very misleading and for good reason... The TED talk is actually about marrying and accepting oneself, which she references as- "walking yourself down the aisle exactly where you are."

Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationship author who wrote the book Why You're Not Married...Yet, based on her viral 2011 Huffington Post blog. She also appeared as a dating coach on the NBC reality show Ready For Love.

Whilst I'm often unsuccessful I really do try hard to be mindful and love myself every day, yet I have never thought about making a deliberate commitment to myself using the same vows I made when I married my husband. Over the past few days I've been agonising over this very fact, however, I have decided to accept and love myself for where I am right now and rather do something about it by writing this blog article. Powerful stuff really.

The vows explained by Tracy are the most important set of vows we can ever make to anyone EVER. Why? Firstly, we are the small portion of the population who are privileged enough to worry about concepts such as "being whole", our "best self" aka self actualisation, so lets make it count for ourselves and for others. By loving, helping and accepting ourselves we can wholly accept others and help them get to a place where the concept of "self worth" becomes tangible. Inevitably this leads to more love, and so the cycle continues ( as cliche as it sounds, it's true). Tracy makes reference to this in multiple instances.

And as Tracy puts it so clearly- "The only relationship you’ll ever have with another person is the one you’re already having with yourself.” So, I have decided to put a ring on it, walk myself down the aisle and make these vows to myself (with the intention of those closest and dearest to me holding me accountable. You know who you are ;-) :

1. I vow to love myself unconditionally everyday (even when I feel insecure, directionless, physically awkward or overwhelmed). To love myself as I expect my family, good friends and husband to love me, and to love myself for both my positive and negative character traits.

2. I vow to accept that I will make mistakes and to understand that I will get thrown the same challenges until I learn from them... and then actually learn from them (with the understanding that it is in the face of the hardest challenge that I have the most to give.)

3. I vow to love others right where they are and for who they are right now, and to be purposeful in the relationships I nurture (in an unselfish way).

What vows are you going to make to yourself in 2015?

Having recently visited New York for the very first time I had to share this inspirational Ted Talk- "How public spaces make cities work". Not because it's a city I fell in love with, but because the talk outlines the importance of making the world a better place to thrive in. The speaker is Amanda Burden who was appointed the director of the New York City Planning. She was given the arduous task of creating more space in New York to accommodate the city's growth. So how did she do this?

She did this by understanding people's intrinsic social and spatial needs which gave her the insight to create public spaces and places that people actually want to spend time in.

This inspiring talk goes into detail about how important it is to make public spaces a place where people want to be, meet and share - a fundamental human need, which I feel we could all pay more attention to personally and professionally. I particularly love how she ends off her talk with this analogy: "Public spaces are like parties, people stay because they are having a good time." So simple. But it sums up why we choose to be where we are or want to be.

In Cape Town we are are so privileged to have beautiful natural public spaces and parks surrounding us (something I admit I take for granted). But a city like New York can only go up so any under-utilised spaces need to be carefully considered. Despite the odds Amanda Burden did this successfully by planning New Yorks innovative park- The High Line. The park is an elevated rail line that's been transformed into a public park on the West Side of Manhattan, which has become a favourite public space for local New Yorkers as well as a visitor destination for tourists. Particularly beautiful in summer this is a must see attraction if you get the chance to visit this awesome city.

Do you have any public spaces you've visited in Cape Town or in other parts of the world that you would like to share? A personal favourite of mine is a small walkway next to the Liesbeek River canal that runs alongside Paradise Road near the circle. A local resident has made it his mission to maintain the park with beautiful timber swings, stools and plant beds so that it can be enjoyed by families in the area. It's such a privilege to live so close by and my border skollie dog buzzy "digs" it too!

Our 'border skollie' Buzz at Paradise Park

The person you really need to marry... yourself

More than just city planning...