I have this great need to write a blog post on mothers day, to pay special tribute to those who have and are struggling to become mothers either naturally, through ivf, surrogacy or adoption; because it's an unspoken truth that 1 in 6 couples that you know at this very moment are struggling to conceive. This quote sums up the core of this struggle so eloquently - " There is a unique pain that comes from preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes. "

Sam and my journey fails in comparison to the hardships others face to become what I believe is a basic human right- a parent. We've had a bit of bad luck trying to eradicate an error in our offspring's genetic coding, whilst working around scarring from abdominal surgery I had when I was 7 years old (who thought?), and recently suffered a 6-week miscarriage.. . It's nearly 2 years down the line of countless hormones, scans, testing, acupuncture and more; and we've had it easy! You're probably thinking how is this having it easy? Because it's been our choice and many people don't even get to make this choice, because financially they cannot afford it, or lack the physical resources to do so...

Today I would like to honour all the women in the world who have either fought hard to bring a child into this world and those struggling for life's greatest privilege of doing so... Many of whom suffer in silence each and every day. Take a moment to reach out to them and show them the love, support and more importantly understanding they so desperately need in this hard time. It will be emotional for them, but being understood is one of life's greatest gifts we can give to another. Don't offer advice, and don't try fix anything, just let them know that you understand how hard it is for them today (or any other day) and let the know that you are thinking of them. They will be grateful for your brave attempt to reach out, as they'll no longer need to suffer alone, and sharing their struggles will lead to greater understanding from others and so this beautiful cycle will continue :-)

Happy Mothers Day to mothers, grandmothers furry kid mothers, godmothers, and those on the journey to becoming a mother. And for those struggling on this journey, a women who I admire deeply once said to me- "Be brave, strong and true. If you can stick to this you will make it through."

Do you have a story you want to share?

#1 Hard work really does pay off. Giving up will always be a mistake.

When we got little Raffa she was the most challenging 3-month year old pup I thought anyone could ever have. No it wasn’t that it was hard to potty train her or that she was sickly, it was that she was extremely hyperactive and overly verbal ALL THE TIME. She really pissed buzz off with her incessant ear biting and pawing, she ate the couch several times, dragged toilet paper all over the house, chewed 5 pairs of my sandals which included my one and only expensive pair of Errol Arendz sandals. Daily she would dig up the flowerbeds and excavate craters into the lawn.

It eventually got to the point where I considered giving her away on Gumtree. My thoughts: “I mean I’m not selling her, I’m giving her away, so someone awesome with a good home and big property will want her right? Anyway, who could resist her gorgeous face…?” There were some days I really meant it and others not as much, but you get how I was feeling. Eventually 10 months passed and I realized that things weren’t so crazy anymore. A few days went by that I didn’t think about what a mess she had made but rather how lovely she is. Was it that everything I had put up with was so completely and utterly worth it? I think so…

Her personality is one of a kind and her affection towards me is on a human-like level if that is even a term. The bond we have is unbreakable. If I had not pushed through the trying times with Raffa, my life right now would be very empty. In fact she has helped me through some of the hardest months of my life this year. Her excitability when I walk through that door makes every ruined grass blade, torn rose bush, “confettied” toilet paper and chewed up sandal strap worth it. She is so easy to love and that’s not because she doesn’t dig up the garden anymore (because she does), that’s because she brings so much energy, positivity and happiness into my life. If things had come too easy, perhaps I wouldn’t appreciate her as much as I do, and I certainly would not be writing a blog post about her either. Giving her up would have been a very BIG mistake.